Monday, 15 July 2013

Beans heart is okay, but now what?

If you've just stumbled upon my blog looking for weight loss advice please check out the side bar to the left, and top posts to the right.  It might also help to start at the beginning of my posts and read forward to current date.  I'm currently not updating as often, partially due to my pregnancy and partially due to other medical concerns.  I still check my email so feel free to email me at:  if you have any questions.  Or check out my Facebook Page!

Friday morning I had my appointment with the Perinatal Specialist to have an ultrasound done.  The ultrasound itself went rather well.  The Sonographer showed us Bean's foot was much bigger than at the 20 week ultrasound! (I'm 29 weeks now).  She also confirmed that he was no longer breech, which I could have told you after getting a few rib nudges!  He has gained 15 oz in the past two weeks which was pretty startling to hear!  And fortunately his heart looked good to both the Sonographer and the Doctor.  They did say that I have low amniotic fluid again.  It's very very low, 4.4 cm.  At this point in pregnancy an average woman has 14.5 cm of fluid give or take.  So again I have what's called Oligohydramnios.

The reason for it can vary.  Anything from my water breaking or leaking, to dehydration to baby's kidneys not working properly.  I am drinking as much water as I can a day, a minimum of 3 Liters and I get to go back next week for a follow-up appointment.  If there's no improvement I could be admitted.

There are real risks with low amniotic fluid.  My biggest concern is cord compression, facial deformities in the baby and the risk of baby getting stuck in the birth canal during delivery.  There is a reason why you need a certain level of fluid, that's for sure.  My biggest worry is not being able to deliver and having a Cesarean.  I want to avoid that as much as I can.

That morning was pretty stressful.  The Doctor sat us down and outlined a few things for us, and told me to pack a suitcase for my next visit.  I left the Hospital in a daze and spent a good while crying on the way to lunch.  I admit that all of these doctors appointments are getting a little hard to handle.  There's always something wrong it seems.  All I want to know is if I am going to have a healthy baby Boy at the end or not.

For Lunch I really surprised myself and didn't binge.  Believe me, when you're emotional, pregnant and you've just gotten bad news it's like a right to binge as much as you like.  Well  I didn't!  Dan and I went to Montana', which is a restaurant we don't have at home.  I got the coolest salad!

Grilled Chicken Watermelon Feta Salad

There where spicy pecans, watermelon, cucumber, feta, lettuce, chicken, balsamic glaze with a kiwi lime dressing!  How neat!  It tasted really good, the feta wasn't salty which would have ruined it in my opinion.  Unfortunately because it's a summer feature there was no nutrition information.  There where lots of pecans so I'm pretty sure it was higher in calories, but it was yummy!  

We spent the afternoon doing a bit of shopping, then headed back to the hospital for my afternoon appointment with the Fetal Echo Cardiologist.  They use an ultrasound machine, but instead the ultrasound is performed by a Doctor who specializes in Fetus' hearts and I'm guessing circulatory system too.  The first doctor had a really tough time seeing anything so he had to switch wands a few times.  Eventually he called in another Doctor to help him.  After about 15 minutes I started to get very hot and nauseous and sweating everywhere so I had to get up.  Once the second doctor took over it happened again but I also started getting panicky too.  It was a really terrible experience.  

I realized afterwards that during this whole pregnancy I've never had a Male doctor, and specifically I've never had a male doctor poke and prod at my stomach let alone two in the same room.  The first doctor had me hold up my stomach fat while he did the ultrasound.  Dan told me later that if he touched my skin he would stop and wipe off his hands every time.  I felt very very ugly and demoralized.  The second doctor was better but it still was a bit much to handle.

In the end they found nothing wrong with Beans heart and it was no longer skipping beats.  Either because I have cut out caffeine or because he outgrew it, they're not sure which.  So that means I still have to avoid caffeine until after birth just so it doesn't happen again.  Did you know that some forms of Tylenol have caffeine?  It's insane the amount of items have caffeine in them!

This blog has taken a serious turn from a weight loss blog to a personal blog unrelated to weight, fitness or nutrition.  I am still counting calories, it has wavered on really bad days and I have even binged on the worst of days.  It is stress bingeing absolutely.  This has been a stressful 7 months and my diet didn't go through it unscathed, however I'm so grateful for the healthy habits I already had in place.  Even if I didn't count calories for a whole day in my journal I was always mentally calculating calories, almost always picking smaller portions of "bad" foods, and noting how I felt emotionally before and after I ate.  

A few weeks ago I looked in the mirror and noticed that my neck and chin where bigger than a few months ago and I flipped out.  I haven't gained a ton of weight this pregnancy a little more than I would like but my occasional bingeing was as clear as the fat on my face.  That was the kick I needed to get back to writing in my journal everyday No. Matter. What.  

Remember how I mentioned my box, and how it was being replaced because of a broken jar?  Well it arrived today!

This is last months box, but the Chocolate Hazelnut Butter had broken open and there was oil and gunk everywhere so they replaced the whole box for me!  

Here are the Contents:
Hemp Hearts
Raspberry Lemonade
Freeze Dried strawberries and bananas
Chocolate Hazelnut Butter
Kind Granola Bar
Gummy Bears
Dried Mango
Dehydrated Plantain chips
Corn puffs
Coconut Cream and chocolate Bliss ball
Vitamin C Lollipops
Gluten free crackers

I've tried everyone of these items except for the butter and I like them all!  Dan and I are very interested in the Hemp Hearts.  They're high in healthy fats and protein and relatively low in calories.  They also have a nicer taste than flax and lower in carbohydrates too.  If you have kids the Vitamin C pops are delicious and pack 300% of your Vitamin C into one pop. 

These are the best kind of treats to get when you don't feel like going to the store! Instead you go to the pantry and you have to have something relatively healthy!  I hope to post more soon.  My July box should be in tomorrow!

Saturday, 6 July 2013

Pregnancy and self image and the box!

If you've just stumbled upon my blog looking for weight loss advice please check out the side bar to the left, and top posts to the right.  It might also help to start at the beginning of my posts and read forward to current date.  I'm currently not updating as often, partially due to my pregnancy and partially due to other medical concerns.  I still check my email so feel free to email me at:  if you have any questions.  Or check out my Facebook Page!

We had our follow up appointment in Edmonton last Wednesday.  This time I asked my mom to come with me!  I wish I had gotten pictures of the trip, but I completely forgot.  We got to ride in style in her convertible Mustang.  It's so fun cruising around in that thing!

We got into Edmonton and checked in a whole hour early for my Ultrasound.  It's first come first serve so I was the first one in!  We got a wonderful Sonographer, she talked to us the whole time.  She told us he was 1 lb 13 oz (I was 27 weeks), and when she went to look at his heart she said she had to wait until he settled down.  He was practicing breathing!  I just about died when I heard that.  I'm sure I said "AWWWWW" so loud other patients heard me.

I did have one time where I got nauseous from being on my back, and between her and the Perinatal Specialist they came back 3 or 4 times to do more ultrasounds during the hour to double check things. Let me tell you, my back was killing me by the time I got out of there!

Good news, his fluid level went back up, yay! But now they noticed that his heart is skipping beats every once in a while.  When I listened to the heartbeat during the ultrasound I noticed it sounds weird and not really in sync, but it's hard to tell that it's skipping beats.  So they sent me home with instructions.  No caffeine (boo!), No chocolate (this kills!), and to get a Non-Stress Test (NST) when I got back home.  Then I had to come back to Edmonton for several more appointments.  One with another Sonographer and Perinatal Specialist and one to get a Fetal Echo Cardiogram.

Dan and I leave this coming Thursday again for Edmonton.  If he does have a heart problem then it looks like we will be travelling weekly, if he looks okay then hopefully only one more trip after this next one for a check up!

This Wednesday I'm now 28 weeks and in my third trimester!

I've noticed in the last probably 2-3 weeks that I've felt really terrible about my self image.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to see my stomach grow and the numbers on the scale go up.  I mean, I've been on the diet-train for the better part of 5 years so anytime anything grows on my body and the scale goes up it sends out warning bells.  Maybe it would be better if I had a pretty pregnancy belly, but lets be honest here.  You can't go from 335 lbs, down to 225 lbs, get pregnant and expect to have a nice round tight pregnancy belly.  It's just not going to happen!  I am in my third trimester, 7 months pregnant and I *still* have loose skin on my stomach.  Namely my belly button.  It has this upside down V shape of skin over it still.  Like my belly button has a mustache!  Okay, it has a real mustache too... pregnancy does that.  But it has a skin mustache also.  Pregnancy is so damn beautiful, right?! Oh please..

I find myself not wanting to go out into public, which is something I found myself doing when I was bigger.  I didn't want people to see me when I weighed more.   I mean, how stupid does it look to see a morbidly obese woman out waddling past a fast food joint?  It's stereotypical and I hated it.  Now I'm starting to get into the same mindset again.  I feel because of my large arms and overall pudginess that never went away that I just look big.  I suppose I might look pregnant if I stick out my belly and rub it lots, or I just might look like I'm trying to rub it for good luck.

I find myself watching people now when I'm out in public to see if they look at me.  If they do I have my guard up and I have a whole list of nasty things I want to say to them in case they comment on my weight.  I used to do this when I was bigger too.  Sometimes people commented, mostly not. It always feels nice to have a good comeback prepared just in case.

I imagine waddling through the mall and some jerk will mention how fat I am, and of course I'm the heroine so I'll waddle over to him and say loudly, "Oh MY GOSH everybody this man has super powers!  This is Captain Obvious! He can point out a fat person a mile away!"  Or maybe I would shout, "I'm pregnant, idiot!" and of course they would cower away in shame.  And everyone would hate him and maybe a few people would shout mean words at him.

Most likely I'd get a lot of "what the hell?" faces and people trying not to look at us. 

So now I come to my box that I received in June! They do meals and they deliver snack boxes throughout Canada.  If you're interested in the Snack Box check it out here.  Before I show you some of the food, I must say that I'm impressed.  Both by what they ship and their customer service.  In my June snack box they shipped a jar of Chocolate Hazelnut spread that broke open and got everywhere.  Within 20 minutes of me emailing them, they had emailed me back and promised to replace my entire box for free.  Very prompt customer service!

The food is pretty awesome too.  My first box and "like" items.  Such as Salsa, chips, soda and cookies.  This month it had lots of dried fruits and chocolate.  Now you only get a regular sized item, not family sized.  For instance you will get a regular sized chocolate bar and just one.  So it's good for maybe a family who splits the boxes or a couple.  Or heck one person.  But if you all want a chocolate bar then you're a little hooped!

Item Number One!

Bliss Balls! If you like chocolate and coconut.. well then I don't need to say anything more.  It's chocolate and coconut!!  And they're gigantic.  If I remember correctly it was pretty high in calories, 280 but you got a whole lot for those calories.

It's huge!

The great thing about snack boxes is that they cater to your diet.  So a lot of what they send is gluten free.  I know a lot of people have gluten sensitivities so this would be a fantastic treat.  A lot of their foods are Organic, All Natural, Non-GMO, Vegan and any other "healthy" label you can put on them. However the food is all genuinely good.  There has only been one item so far that I've disliked.

Item Number Two! 

Pirate's Booty!  These are gluten free as well.  But they are made with corn.  Some people don't mind, some do.  They're really low in calories, I believe 130 calories for the 28g bag.  They also have different flavours like Aged White Cheddar.  The flavour wasn't too bad.  I think a different flavour would be tastier than "Veggie" but overall I liked them.  The only thing is you can only buy them in stores in the USA and online.

Today Dan and I tried freeze-dried fruit that came in the box and it was fantastic!  It was not chewy like dehydrated fruit, it was crispy!  He tossed some onto his cereal and said that if companies used fruit instead of marshmallows in cereal he'd buy it.  PLUS it's healthy, it's comparable to dehydrated fruit nutrition wise.  I'm on a mission to find more and add it to our meal plans.

I hope you all had a lovely Canada Day or Independence Day depending on where you're from.  (And to my overseas followers.. I hope you had a lovely June and not rainy beginning of July!)