Saturday, 6 July 2013

Pregnancy and self image and the box!

If you've just stumbled upon my blog looking for weight loss advice please check out the side bar to the left, and top posts to the right.  It might also help to start at the beginning of my posts and read forward to current date.  I'm currently not updating as often, partially due to my pregnancy and partially due to other medical concerns.  I still check my email so feel free to email me at:  if you have any questions.  Or check out my Facebook Page!

We had our follow up appointment in Edmonton last Wednesday.  This time I asked my mom to come with me!  I wish I had gotten pictures of the trip, but I completely forgot.  We got to ride in style in her convertible Mustang.  It's so fun cruising around in that thing!

We got into Edmonton and checked in a whole hour early for my Ultrasound.  It's first come first serve so I was the first one in!  We got a wonderful Sonographer, she talked to us the whole time.  She told us he was 1 lb 13 oz (I was 27 weeks), and when she went to look at his heart she said she had to wait until he settled down.  He was practicing breathing!  I just about died when I heard that.  I'm sure I said "AWWWWW" so loud other patients heard me.

I did have one time where I got nauseous from being on my back, and between her and the Perinatal Specialist they came back 3 or 4 times to do more ultrasounds during the hour to double check things. Let me tell you, my back was killing me by the time I got out of there!

Good news, his fluid level went back up, yay! But now they noticed that his heart is skipping beats every once in a while.  When I listened to the heartbeat during the ultrasound I noticed it sounds weird and not really in sync, but it's hard to tell that it's skipping beats.  So they sent me home with instructions.  No caffeine (boo!), No chocolate (this kills!), and to get a Non-Stress Test (NST) when I got back home.  Then I had to come back to Edmonton for several more appointments.  One with another Sonographer and Perinatal Specialist and one to get a Fetal Echo Cardiogram.

Dan and I leave this coming Thursday again for Edmonton.  If he does have a heart problem then it looks like we will be travelling weekly, if he looks okay then hopefully only one more trip after this next one for a check up!

This Wednesday I'm now 28 weeks and in my third trimester!

I've noticed in the last probably 2-3 weeks that I've felt really terrible about my self image.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to see my stomach grow and the numbers on the scale go up.  I mean, I've been on the diet-train for the better part of 5 years so anytime anything grows on my body and the scale goes up it sends out warning bells.  Maybe it would be better if I had a pretty pregnancy belly, but lets be honest here.  You can't go from 335 lbs, down to 225 lbs, get pregnant and expect to have a nice round tight pregnancy belly.  It's just not going to happen!  I am in my third trimester, 7 months pregnant and I *still* have loose skin on my stomach.  Namely my belly button.  It has this upside down V shape of skin over it still.  Like my belly button has a mustache!  Okay, it has a real mustache too... pregnancy does that.  But it has a skin mustache also.  Pregnancy is so damn beautiful, right?! Oh please..

I find myself not wanting to go out into public, which is something I found myself doing when I was bigger.  I didn't want people to see me when I weighed more.   I mean, how stupid does it look to see a morbidly obese woman out waddling past a fast food joint?  It's stereotypical and I hated it.  Now I'm starting to get into the same mindset again.  I feel because of my large arms and overall pudginess that never went away that I just look big.  I suppose I might look pregnant if I stick out my belly and rub it lots, or I just might look like I'm trying to rub it for good luck.

I find myself watching people now when I'm out in public to see if they look at me.  If they do I have my guard up and I have a whole list of nasty things I want to say to them in case they comment on my weight.  I used to do this when I was bigger too.  Sometimes people commented, mostly not. It always feels nice to have a good comeback prepared just in case.

I imagine waddling through the mall and some jerk will mention how fat I am, and of course I'm the heroine so I'll waddle over to him and say loudly, "Oh MY GOSH everybody this man has super powers!  This is Captain Obvious! He can point out a fat person a mile away!"  Or maybe I would shout, "I'm pregnant, idiot!" and of course they would cower away in shame.  And everyone would hate him and maybe a few people would shout mean words at him.

Most likely I'd get a lot of "what the hell?" faces and people trying not to look at us. 

So now I come to my box that I received in June! They do meals and they deliver snack boxes throughout Canada.  If you're interested in the Snack Box check it out here.  Before I show you some of the food, I must say that I'm impressed.  Both by what they ship and their customer service.  In my June snack box they shipped a jar of Chocolate Hazelnut spread that broke open and got everywhere.  Within 20 minutes of me emailing them, they had emailed me back and promised to replace my entire box for free.  Very prompt customer service!

The food is pretty awesome too.  My first box and "like" items.  Such as Salsa, chips, soda and cookies.  This month it had lots of dried fruits and chocolate.  Now you only get a regular sized item, not family sized.  For instance you will get a regular sized chocolate bar and just one.  So it's good for maybe a family who splits the boxes or a couple.  Or heck one person.  But if you all want a chocolate bar then you're a little hooped!

Item Number One!

Bliss Balls! If you like chocolate and coconut.. well then I don't need to say anything more.  It's chocolate and coconut!!  And they're gigantic.  If I remember correctly it was pretty high in calories, 280 but you got a whole lot for those calories.

It's huge!

The great thing about snack boxes is that they cater to your diet.  So a lot of what they send is gluten free.  I know a lot of people have gluten sensitivities so this would be a fantastic treat.  A lot of their foods are Organic, All Natural, Non-GMO, Vegan and any other "healthy" label you can put on them. However the food is all genuinely good.  There has only been one item so far that I've disliked.

Item Number Two! 

Pirate's Booty!  These are gluten free as well.  But they are made with corn.  Some people don't mind, some do.  They're really low in calories, I believe 130 calories for the 28g bag.  They also have different flavours like Aged White Cheddar.  The flavour wasn't too bad.  I think a different flavour would be tastier than "Veggie" but overall I liked them.  The only thing is you can only buy them in stores in the USA and online.

Today Dan and I tried freeze-dried fruit that came in the box and it was fantastic!  It was not chewy like dehydrated fruit, it was crispy!  He tossed some onto his cereal and said that if companies used fruit instead of marshmallows in cereal he'd buy it.  PLUS it's healthy, it's comparable to dehydrated fruit nutrition wise.  I'm on a mission to find more and add it to our meal plans.

I hope you all had a lovely Canada Day or Independence Day depending on where you're from.  (And to my overseas followers.. I hope you had a lovely June and not rainy beginning of July!)


  1. When I look at the photo you have posted above, I don't see a fat woman, I see a beautiful woman who is having a baby! This is your time to shine and enjoy your pregnancy. Who cares what other people are thinking? You are a beautiful person both in appearance and in spirit. Enjoy each and every day of your pregnancy.

  2. I understand about feeling fat and being pregnant, but you're beautiful!! Don't let yourself think anything differently!

  3. Pregnancy is a gift and dont stress yourself about the number on the scales.

    You lost a lot of weight and once the lil one is born you will take care of it again.
    You look beautiful.